Sunday Joke & More

Have I got a smile for you today!

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:

First guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend.'

Second guy: 'That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool.'

Third guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.'

They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him. 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend.What's the deal?'

Fourth guy: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said:

'Fishing or Sex?' and she said: 'Wear sun-block.'
==================================================
Sorry, no Sun-Block for you, but I have something that can help you.

Let me introduce you to Dennis Becker. Dennis and I started out about the same time, well no, he started out in 2002 or there a bouts. And for me it was 2003.

Dennis spent himself into so much credit card debt, he would be 80 years old or older to pay it back. I did the same thing, but at my age I would have been 98 years old, still working and never have it paid off with minimum payments or late payments.

Sounds very familiar, to you, doesn't it? However, this is not about paying off the moola you owe. But you will be able too, if you change you mind about several things in your life.

Dennis was talking with his mentor, one night, 5 years ago and really had a honest to goodness change of thinking, that literally turned his life around. Fortunately, several months later he wrote a report, "5 Bucks A Day" that I bought and read. (still have it on my hard drive and refer back to it when I get stuck in a rut)

Finally, Dennis has updated the report by removing some of the ideas that are outdated and adding a whole bunch more that work today. How do I know they work? Because I bought the new report and it is filled with the latest ideas which you and me can put to work today.

I found a short cut that has made me an extra $13.00 this morning.
It's not a fortune but it's thirteen dollars (well actually $12.65 after PayPal fees, that I didn't have when I woke up.

But the important thing is you can do the exact same thing I did, and you can do it, just as soon as you read the updated "5 Bucks A Day". Copy and paste or just click on the below link.

http://tinyurl.com/3bdsxll

Best 

,

Ken
P.S. Sorry but you will have to do some work, just like I had to, when Barb and I got out of debt, in just under 6 years. BTW, before I forget if you get the report through my link, I will receive a commission.

P.S.S. This is good stuff, if you put it to work. If not, please don't waste your $5.00. Will this change your life like it helped change mine, it could, but I can't guarantee that nor can Dennis. However we can guarantee for 60 days to give a no questions asked refund.

So go ahead click the link http://tinyurl.com/3bdsxll

Ken Leatherman
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THE GREAT WARRIOR

 The Great Warrior name is Jamba who live 100 years ago and married 27 beautiful ladies, he so powerful in bed that he always defeated his wive when it come to love fight on the bed  any woman he handle will not let him go because to them , they are in small paradise, , Jamba had this massive thing that any woman that taste it will not let him go, they will be calling for more. That is why is able to marry 27 wives .all of them have timetable or routine of daily/night love fight, ..This is a fight of love and ectasy. .However MrJamba is not a rich man financial zero but how come he is able to marry 27 wives is a misery and unbelievable. Is that some women marry hi. before of his powerful and superior skill in doing it to women.but one day 16 years old girl defeated Mr Jamba.Howdid he do it,   To get the secret , kindly iinvite your friend and love one to visit this site as the great strategy will be revealed. .

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

 

 

Frankly speaking, that was an expensive joke from the wife.  Just because of A.Y show?  She just rattled a sleeping trouble.  She has murdered TRUST in the marriage.  The husband too can equally say, he was playing pranks on her to spite her about sleeping with the sister for the past 5 years.

 

Radio programme or not, the husband will now be looking at the purported 9 year old child with doubt..  Except if the child is a carbon copy of the DAD.  The wife too will be suspicious about the husband towards any female member of her family henceforth.  That is, if the marriage will even stand again.

 

 

Hallos peeps,

 

It's a krazy world we live in, and sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

 

Imagine this:

 

Woman: hello, good morning.

Radio Station: Good morning, what can we do for u today?

Woman: Please I will like two tickets to the A.Y live show holding this weekend.

Radio Station: well, you can have the ticket only if u can play a prank on someone on air and make them believe it.

Woman: No problem, what do u want me to do?

Radio Station: Are u married? Do u have kids?

Woman: Yes, I've been married for 10 years and I have a 9 year old son and a 5 year old daughter.

Radio Station: OK, good. This is what u will do, u will call your husband and tell him he is not the father of your son.

Woman: (laughs) wow, that's a big one.

Radio Station: Well, depends on how bad u want the tickets, and anyway we will be live on air listening to you and will step in to tell him it's all a prank. So u are ready?

Woman: Ok, I'm ready, let's do this cos I really want to go for the show.

Radio Station: Alright, give us his number let's call him and do a 3 way, where is he right now?

Woman: He is in the office, this is his number………………………………!!!!

(Radio Station calls the husband and do a 3 way phone call without the husband knowing he is on the air……………………!!!)

Woman: hello darling.

Husband: hi love, missing me already?

Woman: Yes dear, how is work dear?

Husband: Good, missing u too baby, can't wait to get back home and make sweet love to u all over again like we did this morning.

Woman: Me too love. But ….em…..em……there is something I want to tell u.

Husband: Ok, I'm all ears dear, but let's make it quick cos I have a meeting in 5 minutes.

Woman: U know I love u?

Husband: Yes I do.

Woman: And we have promised to always be sincere to each other.

Husband: Yes we did.

Woman: And we are Christians that believe in Christ and would do as Christ will do.

Husband: U are starting to scare me dear, please, what's this about?

Woman: Something happened in my office 9 years ago.

Husband: Please tell me, what's happened?

Woman: The annual xmas party we have every December in the office, 9 years ago I got so drunk and had sex with a co-worker. I swear I was so drunk I did not know what I was doing and em….em…..em……… u are not the father of our son.

Husband:  WHAAAATTTT ?????

Woman: I just felt I should let u know. But I don't even talk to the guy anymore; it was just a one off thing.

Husband: and u are just telling me now? Are u insane? Do u know what this will do to me?

Woman: I'm sorry love; I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Husband: I can't believe u would do this to me; this is crazy, I'm so mad with u right now.

Woman: I'm so sorry my love, please don't be mad with me, I just felt I should confess and then u can forgive me like the true Christians we are.

Husband: U are crazy. U want forgiveness? Ok, u too forgive this, I have been sleeping with your sister for the past 5 years.

Radio Station: HOLY SHIT !!!!!

Woman: What did u say?

Husband: U heard me; after all, u are in the mood to confess and be forgiven, so I've also given u my own confession so we can be on the same page. Is there someone on the phone with u?

Radio Station: sir, this is a live show, u are on the air right now, we asked your wife to play a prank on u to that u guys can get two tickets to go watch the AY live show this weekend.

Husband: Oh shit !!!

Woman: Are u serious??? Tell me, are u serious?

Radio Station: wow, this is not what we expected sir.

Husband: I can't talk right now……………… (Phone cuts).

 

 

 

Hmmm, crazy, right??? So, if u were the woman, what will u do?

And as the guy, damage control? Denial? Ask for forgiveness? What would u do?

 

Holla back guys.

 

 

 

 

 

  ________________________________  

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  ________________________________  

To sign up for your free e-statement, and for enquiries on FirstBank products and services, please call 0700FIRSTCONTACT (0700-34778-2668228), 01-4485500, 0708-062-5000 or email firstcontact@firstbanknigeria.com . FirstBank is ISO 27001 certified.

  ________________________________  

To sign up for your free e-statement, and for enquiries on FirstBank products and services, please call 0700FIRSTCONTACT (0700-34778-2668228), 01-4485500, 0708-062-5000 or email firstcontact@firstbanknigeria.com



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CAREER TEST

Career Test!!!

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them.
The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable
to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small
test.

They took a 50,000 cash, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey,
and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping
he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be
a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but
if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be
a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited
nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son
arrive home.

He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later.
Then, he took the 50,000 cash, counted it carefully, and looking left and
right, put it in his trouser pocket. After that, he took the
Bible, flipped through it, and took it also. Finally, he
grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciable whiff
to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room
carrying all the three items.

Meanwhile in their hiding place...
The father slapped his forehead, and said, "Damn! It's even
worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"He's surely going to be a politician. Its only the spirit of greed in
politicians that will make him carry away all the three items" the father
replied

PATERNITY MATTER--YOU WILL SO LAUGH.

  Mother: Son I'm sorry i slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?! You should be hanged.

Mother: I am sorry he is my first love and i could not marry him cause we are of different religion. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No i am speaking to no one. Mr Alani is the only father i know and so will that be.

Mother: Please dont be soo upset. Just talk to him.

Son: Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind!

Phone: Morning Son, I am Mallam Aliko Dangote. I am your real father.

Son: Daddy! Daddy!! Daddy!!! Thank God! I always knew there was something special about me... Thank you mum. You are the best mother in the world