20.7.11

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.

 
 
Frankly speaking, that was an expensive joke from the wife.  Just because of A.Y show?  She just rattled a sleeping trouble.  She has murdered TRUST in the marriage.  The husband too can equally say, he was playing pranks on her to spite her about sleeping with the sister for the past 5 years.
 
Radio programme or not, the husband will now be looking at the purported 9 year old child with doubt..  Except if the child is a carbon copy of the DAD.  The wife too will be suspicious about the husband towards any female member of her family henceforth.  That is, if the marriage will even stand again.
 
 
Hallos peeps,
 
It's a krazy world we live in, and sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.
 
Imagine this:
 
Woman: hello, good morning.
Radio Station: Good morning, what can we do for u today?
Woman: Please I will like two tickets to the A.Y live show holding this weekend.
Radio Station: well, you can have the ticket only if u can play a prank on someone on air and make them believe it.
Woman: No problem, what do u want me to do?
Radio Station: Are u married? Do u have kids?
Woman: Yes, I've been married for 10 years and I have a 9 year old son and a 5 year old daughter.
Radio Station: OK, good. This is what u will do, u will call your husband and tell him he is not the father of your son.
Woman: (laughs) wow, that's a big one.
Radio Station: Well, depends on how bad u want the tickets, and anyway we will be live on air listening to you and will step in to tell him it's all a prank. So u are ready?
Woman: Ok, I'm ready, let's do this cos I really want to go for the show.
Radio Station: Alright, give us his number let's call him and do a 3 way, where is he right now?
Woman: He is in the office, this is his number………………………………!!!!
(Radio Station calls the husband and do a 3 way phone call without the husband knowing he is on the air……………………!!!)
Woman: hello darling.
Husband: hi love, missing me already?
Woman: Yes dear, how is work dear?
Husband: Good, missing u too baby, can't wait to get back home and make sweet love to u all over again like we did this morning.
Woman: Me too love. But ….em…..em……there is something I want to tell u.
Husband: Ok, I'm all ears dear, but let's make it quick cos I have a meeting in 5 minutes.
Woman: U know I love u?
Husband: Yes I do.
Woman: And we have promised to always be sincere to each other.
Husband: Yes we did.
Woman: And we are Christians that believe in Christ and would do as Christ will do.
Husband: U are starting to scare me dear, please, what's this about?
Woman: Something happened in my office 9 years ago.
Husband: Please tell me, what's happened?
Woman: The annual xmas party we have every December in the office, 9 years ago I got so drunk and had sex with a co-worker. I swear I was so drunk I did not know what I was doing and em….em…..em……… u are not the father of our son.
Husband:  WHAAAATTTT ?????
Woman: I just felt I should let u know. But I don't even talk to the guy anymore; it was just a one off thing.
Husband: and u are just telling me now? Are u insane? Do u know what this will do to me?
Woman: I'm sorry love; I just wanted to get it off my chest.
Husband: I can't believe u would do this to me; this is crazy, I'm so mad with u right now.
Woman: I'm so sorry my love, please don't be mad with me, I just felt I should confess and then u can forgive me like the true Christians we are.
Husband: U are crazy. U want forgiveness? Ok, u too forgive this, I have been sleeping with your sister for the past 5 years.
Radio Station: HOLY SHIT !!!!!
Woman: What did u say?
Husband: U heard me; after all, u are in the mood to confess and be forgiven, so I've also given u my own confession so we can be on the same page. Is there someone on the phone with u?
Radio Station: sir, this is a live show, u are on the air right now, we asked your wife to play a prank on u to that u guys can get two tickets to go watch the AY live show this weekend.
Husband: Oh shit !!!
Woman: Are u serious??? Tell me, are u serious?
Radio Station: wow, this is not what we expected sir.
Husband: I can't talk right now……………… (Phone cuts).
 
 
 
Hmmm, crazy, right??? So, if u were the woman, what will u do?
And as the guy, damage control? Denial? Ask for forgiveness? What would u do?
 
Holla back guys.
 
 
 
 
 

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4.6.11

CAREER TEST

Career Test!!!

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them.
The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable
to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small
test.

They took a 50,000 cash, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey,
and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping
he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be
a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but
if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be
a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited
nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son
arrive home.

He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later.
Then, he took the 50,000 cash, counted it carefully, and looking left and
right, put it in his trouser pocket. After that, he took the
Bible, flipped through it, and took it also. Finally, he
grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciable whiff
to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room
carrying all the three items.

Meanwhile in their hiding place...
The father slapped his forehead, and said, "Damn! It's even
worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"He's surely going to be a politician. Its only the spirit of greed in
politicians that will make him carry away all the three items" the father
replied

14.5.11

PATERNITY MATTER--YOU WILL SO LAUGH.

  Mother: Son I'm sorry i slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. And that person is your real father.

Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this?! You should be hanged.

Mother: I am sorry he is my first love and i could not marry him cause we are of different religion. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever.

Son: No i am speaking to no one. Mr Alani is the only father i know and so will that be.

Mother: Please dont be soo upset. Just talk to him.

Son: Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind!

Phone: Morning Son, I am Mallam Aliko Dangote. I am your real father.

Son: Daddy! Daddy!! Daddy!!! Thank God! I always knew there was something special about me... Thank you mum. You are the best mother in the world

23.4.11

APPRECIATION

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'
The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."
The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.
The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done. 
You would have forwarded many mails to many and many of them would have back mailed you too...but try and forward this story to as many as possible...this may change somebody's fate...


12.2.11

The Cruel Boss


This story tells us not to be 'too kind' to our bosses. Here it goes:
There's this Jed Smith  who was working for a multi-millionaire as a house guard. One day, while the millionaire was driving out to catch an early morning flight to conclude a business deal,  Jed Smith  ran out from the guard house and stopped the millionaire' s car just right in front of the
gate.
He said 'Sir! Sir! Are you going to board a plane?'
'Yes, why?' asked the millionaire.
'You had better cancel the trip. You see, last night I dreamt about the plane going to crash.'
Curious over the early morning fright that  Jed Smith  had given, the multimillionaire decided to cancel his trip.
'You better be damn right for this is a million dollar deal.'
The following day, there was a news report that the plane which the millionaire was supposed to take had indeed crash landed.
'Thank God, I cancelled the trip', the rich man said realising that what Jed Smith had said had come true, he summoned Smith to see him. When the guard was called that morning, the millionaire gave him his salary and FIRED him.
WHY did he do that?
Think first…..
Use
your brains…..
Use your brains!!!
Still no idea?
Come on….. it is quite easy…..
Still drawing a blank???
Just imagine you are Jed Smith  and you have saved your boss's life…..
OK, since you do not want to 'use your brain' like Jed Smith  before you talk to your boss.
Just scroll down for the answer …
.
Jed Smith was supposed to guard the
house at night. NOT to Sleep and Dream all night!
ADVICE: So, GO BACK TO WORK, and don't try to save your boss's life. It's not worth it!

8.1.11

Just Watch Your Next Action

BEFORE YOU PACK, KNOW THAT OTHER PEOPLE ALSO KNOW HOW TO PACK

A man and his wife quarreled and had a fight.  After the fight, the wife went
into the bedroom.
A few minutes later, the husband also trooped into the bedroom and only to find
the wife busy packing her suitcase.
He asked "You are packing! Where are you going??"
She answered "To my mother!"

The man paused for a while and also got his big brown pure  leather suitcase and
started packing his clothes.

The wife angrily stared at him and said "You are packing! Where are you going?"

He replied " Oh ya! I am going to my mother!"
The wife "To your mother! And what about the children! Who is going to look
after them?" The man "You are going to your mother! Fine.  I am also going to my mother. The
children also should go to their mother"

The woman stopped packing.  She looked steadily at the husband and was left
without any other option but just to shed tears of joy. She then hugged the man
and said, "You are very intelligent.  No wonder I married you;  Tea, Coffee OR
Me???