21.7.10

THE WEDDING NIGHT

Paul and Mary get married but couldn't afford a  honeymoon.  So they go back to Paul's Mum and Dad's house for their first night together.
In the morning Johnny, - Paul's little brother - gets up and has his breakfast. As he is  going out of the door to go to school - he asks his mum if Paul and Mary are up yet.  
She replies -  "No".
Johnny asks -  "Do you know what I think ?"
His mum replies - "I don't want to hear what you think just go to school".
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mum - "Are Paul and Mary up yet ?"
She replies - "No".
Johnny says -  "Do you know what I think ?"
His mum replies -  "Never mind what  you think ! Eat your lunch and go for your tuition .."
After tuition Johnny comes home and asks again - "Are Paul and Mary up yet ?"
His mum says -  "No."
He asks - "Do you know what I think ?"
His mum replies - "Ok, now tell me what you think"
He says - "Last night Paul came to my room for the
Vaseline and I think I gave him my super glue by mistake".
Moral of the story....it pays to listen to kids. 

FW: BIG FOOL


16.7.10

Generous wife!!!

......Since the wife was eight months into her Pregnancy, the husband had to sleep on the floor to avoid any regrettable mistake, which might happen pretty easily, for he had been desperate for quite a while.
Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor guy curls up on the floor; eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled with hopeless desire...
Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top drawer of the cabinet, takes out 500 bucks, and gives it to him.

"Here, take this and go to the woman next door, she will let you sleep with her tonight.... and remember that this happens only once... ok? Don't think about it
again" she said.
The husband rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she may change her mind, grabs the money and leaves quickly..
A few minutes later, he returns, and hands the money back to his wife and says with much disappointment: She said this is not enough. She wants one thousand.....
The wife's face slowly turns red with anger. "Damn that bitch... when she was pregnant and her husband came over here... I charged him only five hundred..." The guy collapsed!!!.

For more jokes and humours that will wipe away your tear and sorrow, kindly check the following:-
HOW TO BE FUNNY
THE NET NO. 1 JOKE E-BOOK :-

15.7.10

THE PASTOR'S ASS

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased  with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT     The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor  not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.     This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the  donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local  paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS  BEST ASS IN TOWN.     The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the  donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10     Again, this was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the  donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE     The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is....being concerned about public opinion can bring  you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life.  So be yourself and  enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot  happier and live longer!